Dramatic

Fair Looks and True Obedience

A chamber opera by Hunter S. Long.
Libretto by Jennifer Leigh Coates

KIM, alone onstage.

Everyone’s watching … that’s what she told me when I was just a doe-eyed girl in plaid Armani. Kim … Kim, she said, you’ve got your father’s money. But your face is all your own: anointed. I’m the one who had to take orders … holy orders. She said, you’ll do what your sisters cannot. Don’t tell them, but they already know.

Everyone knows: I’m the beautiful one. You know it even if I don’t strike your fancy. Beauty is not aesthetic; it’s desire and power and that which makes one whispered about. I had to be a star. To chart every move, with something to prove, before I fade out.

KANYE, surprising her.
How now, my love?

KIM
Kanye! You’re not supposed to see me! Oh, I’ve wanted to see you. Cursed superstition … so much depends on forces beyond our control.

KANYE
So much depends on the red wheelbarrow.

KIM
And the chickens!

KANYE
Yes, the chickens! Cursed superstition cannot curse us. Today is our wedding day. And you speak of curses? It cannot be. Unless you’ve changed your mind about me already?

KIM
That’s not funny.

KANYE
My love, forgive me … I heard you crying. And you know me well enough to know that I deflect human suffering with turgid, overwrought spectacle and behaving like an absurdist fool!

(Beat.) We still haven’t heard from him yet?

KIM
No. I have no papers.

KANYE
But Lamar’s lawyer said—

KIM
We’d have them today. But we don’t. Oh, Kanye, what must we do? I’m forced to delegitimize the one thing that’s true. And for what? I tried not to make love a game. They told me to marry, and I did what I could. Now we’re trapped by this mercurial Sphinx who simply keeps changing her answer.

KANYE
If we could only wait …

KIM
Everyone’s watching. Just like they did before. Isn’t it odd? Why should people care? How many millions of strangers will sit on their couches and stare?

KANYE
I’ma let you finish, but first let me say … a marriageis a piece of paper. It’s a rhetorical construct.

KIM
Everything I am is on paper. Or on screen. You of all people should know that..

KANYE
What does it mean, what does it matter? Yes, life is always a scene, that’s staged for the viewer. A poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage … but love is the true and transcendent thing! You belong to me…

KIM
Not without a divorce I don’t.

KANYE
…And I to you.

II.

KHLOE and KOURTNEY make their entrance.

KHLOE
Paraffin parasols. Vermillion geraniums! Foxglove.

KANYE
How now, Ophelia?

KHLOE
Red dust terrarium. Crystal solarium. MTV love.

KOURTNEY
Nothing to be done.

KHLOE
You sound like a pursed persimmon. Like a Sibyl who’s misplaced her Zoloft.

KOURTNEY
So you feel it, too?

KIM
Feel what?

KOURTNEY
Impending doom.

KHLOE
Stop being a sourpatch. (pulls out a bottle) The cordial of life. There’s plenty to be done … plenty to get ready. Meringue puff dresses spun from lemon silk. Cobalt geraniums. Poppies, too. I’ll carry them down the aisle to you.

KIM
Kourtney, stop drinking that!

KOURTNEY
So you feel it, too?

KIM
Feel what?

KOURTNEY
We’ve angered the universe.

KANYE
Someone’s grumpy.

KHLOE
Hula hoop ballet. Aqueous bubbles. Effervescence!

KOURTNEY
Laugh, foolish girl. But you saw it, too.

KIM
I didn’t see anything.

KHLOE
We danced; spinning our sequins like a psychedelic Laundromat.

KOURTNEY
Late into the morning, in between strobes I consulted my martini glass. A prophecy … the universe has spoken, and who knows what the echoes will portend. I hear doom like harmonics on the wind. This family will fall in disgrace … by the hand of one sister.

KIM
Stop it! Why are you tormenting me? Can you not leave me to suffer as I am?

KANYE
They’ve been drinking.

KHLOE
Mimosa brunch!

KIM
You had to play the fools? Awash in dram and drool? Oh, why dishonor me? Make today a mockery! O God, why is there no one to help?

III.

Lights on KRIS, standing elevated above the stage, like a Valkyrie.

Hark! I hear the cries of my child.

KIM, KHLOE, KOURTNEY
Mother! Mother! Mother!

KANYE
Mother! Mother!

KRIS
Why are you all standing about? We’ve got a wedding in less than an hour. (Beat.) Who made Kim cry? Who made the bride cry when she’s already in her makeup? Kourtney and Khloe, so help me. I won’t have my two less famous children ruining the wedding of a lifetime for Kim … and all the viewers at home.

KHLOE and KOURTNEY
Dear sister … please stop your weeping. And never doubt, we are your most sincere friends. We are always with you, and we will do anything to see you happily wed. We rejoice with you on this wonderful day!

KRIS
That’s better. One must cry a little on one’s wedding day. But not enough to ruin one’s makeup.

KIM
My sisters … what shall I do? O Mother! I cannot be married!

KHLOE and KOURTNEY gasp.

KANYE
The lawyers promised Kim would have her divorce papers by today. It appears that was a lie. Her bitter, slighted lover has betrayed us all.

KOURTNEY AND KHLOE
What shall we do?

KRIS
There is a solution for everything, girls. Some merely cost more than others. Khloe, your husband knows this lawyer?

KHLOE
Yes, it’s his attorney, too.

KRIS
Khloe, go to Lamar. He must track this man down and use whatever means necessary to make Kim’s marriage legal.

KIM
Mother, no!

KRIS
Are you casting aspersions on my judgment? I’ve run this family since before you were born. Do you want to get married, or be publicly shamed a second time? Lamar will be discreet. Lamar will be careful. Khloe, tell him what I told you. He knows what to do.

KHLOE
Yes, mother.

KRIS
And hurry. It’s 30 minutes til showtime.

KHLOE runs off the stage.

IV.

KOURTNEY (sitting)
Nothing to be done.

KIM, KANYE, KRIS
What?

KOURTNEY
Nothing.

KRIS
Kim, why don’t you practice your vows. You’ll be singing in front of millions of people… on live TV.

KANYE
Yes, love … shall we serenade one another?

KIM
I’m so worried. My heart is in my stomach and my wind is in my head. I have less than usual courage in my throat.

KANYE
Just sing to me.

KANYE AND KIM SHAKESPEARE DUET

I swear to thee, by Cupid’s strongest bow,

By his best arrow with the golden head,

By the simplicity of Venus’ doves,

By that which knitteth souls and prospers loves,

By all the vows that ever men have broke,

In number more than ever women spoke,

In that same place thou hast appointed me,

Truly will I meet with thee.

KOURTNEY (laughing)
What makes my pretty little sister think she’s a musician? Is favor catching? Were talent so! You cannot “marry” pitch the way one marries money. And all the beautiful plumage can’t make a deaf parrot sing.

KANYE
Kim, let’s try it again.

KIM
She’s right. I can’t sing. I’m Kim Kardashian, famous for doing nothing.

KANYE
Let’s just practice again.

KIM
You know better. Whose idea was this, anyway? It’s stupid. Why do we have to sing our vows on the show?

KRIS (from above the stage)
Marketing. Increases ratings and primes the public for your first album, which drops on Valentine’s Day.

KIM
Oh, God.

KANYE
So, maybe a little practice?

KIM
Do you know why I love you?

KANYE
Because I’m a projection of your ideals, created by your need for intimacy and your fears of mortality and isolation?

KIM
Music. People can say anything about your persona. You’re not a celebrity; you’re an artist.

KANYE
This “art” business. It’s a business. Give the public what they want. Sure, I’ve got talent. But I’m better than an artist. I’m a producer. Your mother’s always known that. And so have you.

KIM and KANYE embrace.

KIM
Let’s get married!

KANYE
Listen to that beautiful voice!

KIM and KANYE join hands and embrace KOURTNEY. All three hold hands and stand under the perch from which KRIS looks down. The four of them wait.

After a few seconds, KHLOE runs back into the room, looking like someone has died, and shakes her head.

KIM
He didn’t get the papers?

KHLOE shakes her head again, and the entire family stands on stage as they realize that time has run out. They exit to the sound of something signaling a broadcast which they know will be a sham.